Voluntary

So this happened yesterday:

I often feel a little guilt when posting helpful documents, maps, and other links that I think would be helpful to the rest of my batch. The devil inside me keeps telling me that "you're only doing this to get attention" and other self-serving accusations.

I guess it comes from a culture where being epal, or trying to take credit for things you didn't do, is very rampant. (copy-pasting links is not exactly credit-worthy). The guilt I feel whenever I try to help derives from my anger of all things epal. I don't just see this with politicians. I also see this with people who help for the sake of being thanked, not for the sake of those in need.

I feel most guilty when the "thank yous" come. My inner devil tells me "See? Doesn't that make you feel good?" and I'd be awkward while trying to say "you're welcome". Sometimes, I don't even get to say it. I'd just smile and nod and smile some more.

But no. I shouldn't feel guilty for helping and accepting thanks. Help is help after all.

And honestly, it's no big deal. 

A professor once told us that this is a thesis, not a competition. Everyone should help each other and share data, not just limit help to a certain group. All I did was share some stuff I stumbled upon in the internet (my best friend).

Then again, being immortalized in other people's thesis books is pretty sweet. :)