Voluntary

So this happened yesterday:

I often feel a little guilt when posting helpful documents, maps, and other links that I think would be helpful to the rest of my batch. The devil inside me keeps telling me that "you're only doing this to get attention" and other self-serving accusations.

I guess it comes from a culture where being epal, or trying to take credit for things you didn't do, is very rampant. (copy-pasting links is not exactly credit-worthy). The guilt I feel whenever I try to help derives from my anger of all things epal. I don't just see this with politicians. I also see this with people who help for the sake of being thanked, not for the sake of those in need.

I feel most guilty when the "thank yous" come. My inner devil tells me "See? Doesn't that make you feel good?" and I'd be awkward while trying to say "you're welcome". Sometimes, I don't even get to say it. I'd just smile and nod and smile some more.

But no. I shouldn't feel guilty for helping and accepting thanks. Help is help after all.

And honestly, it's no big deal. 

A professor once told us that this is a thesis, not a competition. Everyone should help each other and share data, not just limit help to a certain group. All I did was share some stuff I stumbled upon in the internet (my best friend).

Then again, being immortalized in other people's thesis books is pretty sweet. :)

A Sudden Farewell: A Heavy Heart

Taken from the Philippine Daily Inquirer

I just found out that the body of Jesse Robredo, Secretary of the Department of Interior and Local Government, has been found after his plane crashed just off the coast of Masbate four days ago. He and the two pilots were proclaimed missing until their bodies were found earlier today.

I'm surprised at how emotionally affected I am. After all, I don't know him personally. I didn't feel this way when Dolphy or MJ died. For the latter, it was like hearing that a friend of a friend of a friend has died. You feel sympathetic, but after a few minutes, you won't care anymore.

But the death of Sec. Robredo feels different. 

Maybe it's because I had such high hopes for him. When the President announced his appointment last year, I immediately checked him out in the web and unlike what I usually see with other politicians, I liked what I found. For me, his appointment remains one of the President's good choices (along with Mon Jimenez for Tourism, De Lima for Justice and Carpio-Morales for Ombudsman). 

Maybe it's because while death in general is melancholic, sudden death will always be horrible. The nation is now scrambling to cope with this loss, especially since our political system is filled with greed and corruption. Incorruptible politicians who have stalwart records are rare, and the Philippines has just lost one of its gems.

I don't believe in the saying "the good die young". I believe that the good die young for a reason. My mind is reeling with conspiracy theories and foul play. After all, the person who has the national police under his thumb is expected to have enemies.

I hope that the government can find a suitable replacement, someone who is impervious to the nastiness that has infected it. I also hope his death will not be for nothing, that people may realize their mortality, no matter how high up they are, and no matter how good they try to be.